Welcome to McDougal’s
“Welcome to McDougal’s. My name is Richard and I’ll be your server. What can I get
for you today?”
“Heifer burger with black cheese.”
“Who’s the mark?”
“Goes by the name of Billy The Kid.”
“Original.”
“Runs an underground gambling hall on 5th.”
“The purse?”
“Two-hundred gees.”
“Scumbag?”
“All you need to know is, you take him out, you get paid.”
“I don’t work like that.”
“Irish mob wants him croaked.”
“You with the Irish mob?”
“As far as you’re concerned, I’m a ghost.”
“And as far as you’re concerned, I’m a ghost maker. So don’t get cute.”
“I know.”
“You know.”
“That’s why I’m here. So you can make Billy The Kid into a ghost.”
“Anything else I should know?”
“There’s a reason they call him Billy The Kid. Ex pistol shooting champ of Colorado. So
don’t make this a gunfight.”
“One more time . . . Why does this man deserve to die?”
“Rigged the wrong poker game.”
“Any kids? A wife?”
“They told me you was weird.”
“I never hit a mark who didn’t deserve it.”
“How thoughtful. If it helps, old Billy runs an underage brothel in the back of his
gambling hall.”
“Deadline?”
“One week.”
“Done.”
“Boss wants him to suffer.”
“Knife in each knee cap?”
“Cut off his tiny pecker and pin it to his head for all I care.”
“What else can I get you?”
“What?”
“This is McDougal’s. Order something.”
“Bacon cheeseburger, fries, chocolate milkshake, slice of cheese cake.”
“It’ll be ready shortly.”
Jason S. Parker studied Creative Writing under Robert Krut at Georgia State University in the early 2000s. Since then he's been a direct response copywriter who enjoys writing experimental literary fiction on the side. He lives in Limestone, Tennessee with his wife and three dogs.
