Imaginary Lovers; Imaginary Enemies
"I can’t believe you would barge in like that. We were in the middle of-" "What?! I live here!" "Shhh. Keep your voice down. He is still...
Those Two Impostors
"Don't get blood on the car seat, okay? Stay on the towel." "Thanks for the sympathy." "Oh, poor Bobby. Is that what you want? Sympathy?"...
Telemarketer
“Hello, is this the lady of the house?” “No, this is Tammie.” “Is your mommy or daddy home?” “Mommy is.” “Can you go get her?” “No, she’s...
Gas Posthaste
“Welcome to Gas Posthaste. Please swipe your card.” — “Will this be debit or credit?” “Debit.“ “Select grade.” “87.“ “Would you like a...
Returns
"This is the returns department?" "That's what it says on the sign on the wall behind me, so I guess that's what it is." "Well then, I...
You Gotta Have Faith
“Say that again, Jim.” “That way we’ll know the kind of person we’re hiring.’” “Are you sure you’ll know?” “Certainly. You don’t have to...
Gifted
"Hold out your hands, and close your eyes." "What's this about?" "It's a surprise. Close your eyes, please." "Joe, you bought me a gift?...
Black Comedy
“Hello and welcome to Lithium Media. My name’s Soki and I will be your call advisor for today. How can I help you?” “Hi. I’ve just moved...
Sucker Punch
“Remember, champ, watch out for that left hook.” “The left hook.” “And the jab. The kid’s quick. Little bugger’s quick as fuck.” “He’s...
Brake Failure
"He what? Drove the car into the fucking what?" "You heard me. Miller’s Pond." "You’re not serious?" "Why do you think I called, because...
